Lately, I just started to realize how lethargic I became. I have received so many great emails about what I think about (in the rocket science/history topics) or if I can write article about that and that. I am so full of topics I want to write but on other hand I do not have energy. But this kind of energy is motivation to live. I live day by day and trying not to use my emotions and brain. I am not even sure whether I have left anything of that anyway. I cannot concentrate, I am tired. I am tired of being tired. I am lost. I see the point where I should head but I am not sure how. Or that wouldn't be even the problem. The pure problem is that I have lost interest. To get anywhere for whatever.
And after all I got even deeper. Down. For everyone I am doing great job, but inside I am sinking. I fighting for every second to survive to find motivation and being the good person who appreciate the things around. I got life and I have to be happy for whatever comes. Why I cannot do that? Right now I am loosing again and I am tired after this. I just want to escape.
I want to escape pain, pain of soul, pain of lost fight, being looser.
And after all I got even deeper. Down. For everyone I am doing great job, but inside I am sinking. I fighting for every second to survive to find motivation and being the good person who appreciate the things around. I got life and I have to be happy for whatever comes. Why I cannot do that? Right now I am loosing again and I am tired after this. I just want to escape.
I want to escape pain, pain of soul, pain of lost fight, being looser.
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