It has been a very long time, since I wrote last time. And nothing has changes. Or things got even more deeper. But, lets be positive. 💜
I feel like the biggest looser on the world. Even I am trying to remind myself what I am doing well, what I am good in, still the world is counted by your materialistic results. Money, or popularity. Whatever you call it. I clearly failed in everything. I was so ambitious and how I ended up. I was working so hard on my education and to get where I was. Everything disappeared so quickly. Being sick, not visibly is not acceptable. It doesn't matter that you didn't choose it, that you didn't make anything wrong. This is clearly due to some genes which were trigger by certain conditions. But I have to be fair. I have found secrets which I would never found without that. Unfortunately most of the days, I am rather doubtful about that. Most of the days I am hearing the monster telling me that I am only trying to tell myself lies and excuses.
Ok, I am trying to keep me busy, eat to all kind of medication and repeating feelings are only feelings, and I am still here. Wish I can express my feelings. I am trying sometimes to draw them, to take a picture. Keeping busy is very important process, otherwise feelings would eat me.
What is expected from me? What rights do I have? What future is in front of me. Do I have enough energy to continue?
Have a nice day!!
I feel like the biggest looser on the world. Even I am trying to remind myself what I am doing well, what I am good in, still the world is counted by your materialistic results. Money, or popularity. Whatever you call it. I clearly failed in everything. I was so ambitious and how I ended up. I was working so hard on my education and to get where I was. Everything disappeared so quickly. Being sick, not visibly is not acceptable. It doesn't matter that you didn't choose it, that you didn't make anything wrong. This is clearly due to some genes which were trigger by certain conditions. But I have to be fair. I have found secrets which I would never found without that. Unfortunately most of the days, I am rather doubtful about that. Most of the days I am hearing the monster telling me that I am only trying to tell myself lies and excuses.
Ok, I am trying to keep me busy, eat to all kind of medication and repeating feelings are only feelings, and I am still here. Wish I can express my feelings. I am trying sometimes to draw them, to take a picture. Keeping busy is very important process, otherwise feelings would eat me.
What is expected from me? What rights do I have? What future is in front of me. Do I have enough energy to continue?
Have a nice day!!
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