It hurts, it itches, but actually this is the minor problem. I am currently under a lot of medication to be able to survive another day. I am sleepy, I am exhausted. I would like to give up the battle. But it is against my values. Also I do not want to leave my kids alone. But nobody can really help me. I am in pain, but also depressed and anxiety. I am in my body's and mind jail. I want to stop it. Actually sometimes the physical pain is not that bad as the mental pain. And I am tired to write about it. It feels right now that it doesn't go forward. I was hoping that it can also be part of my job, since nobody will employ such a looser. Nobody sees my passion to work and to help. I love science. I love to write. I am just in the end. I feel empty and dizzy. I want end of this.
Have a better and positive day!!! It is raining and nature would finally get some water.
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