Some time ago, I was asked to write about the whole process I underwent last year, whether I am able to see any progress. Well, I hope I have made some improvement in my life. I am trying to find myself in the actual place and time. To be really correct, I feel very inspired. It feels like that I am getting ready to make the next step in my life, by finding randomly hints and pictures, to show me some kind of direction. But let's see.
It is interesting not only to work on what I am scared of but also to watch the process as I would be just a stranger to myself. I am trying to follow everything what I have been told. Generally, it means that I am trying to pretend to do anything useful by doing a lot of nonsenses no one appreciate or even notice. I feel like air, important but not appreciated. For example I started to be a very good taxi driver for my kids. Very important but no one comes to say thank you that you give up everything to take care of kids. What a pity that I cannot fly them instead :-).
Ok, I am realizing that everybody needs the air. I am learning how to feel secure and safe in the unsecured and unbalanced life. I just cannot imagine how the others are doing it. Fortunately, that is not my business.
In the end, I feel quite scared of the thing that I am starting to understand feelings and reactions. Someone would note that it is quite late. But actually who understands her/himself? It is all about pretending. Or thinking you are completely sure about your own life. And one small thing brakes and you will find yourself on the floor with broken life-castle.
However, even the castle is broken, hopefully you have plenty of bricks to built better and stable house.
Yes, that is all so true. But this article is much more difficult to summarize. It depends on what mood I wake up, or occur during the day. Right now, I am hyper active to hide my anxiety.
It is interesting not only to work on what I am scared of but also to watch the process as I would be just a stranger to myself. I am trying to follow everything what I have been told. Generally, it means that I am trying to pretend to do anything useful by doing a lot of nonsenses no one appreciate or even notice. I feel like air, important but not appreciated. For example I started to be a very good taxi driver for my kids. Very important but no one comes to say thank you that you give up everything to take care of kids. What a pity that I cannot fly them instead :-).
Ok, I am realizing that everybody needs the air. I am learning how to feel secure and safe in the unsecured and unbalanced life. I just cannot imagine how the others are doing it. Fortunately, that is not my business.
In the end, I feel quite scared of the thing that I am starting to understand feelings and reactions. Someone would note that it is quite late. But actually who understands her/himself? It is all about pretending. Or thinking you are completely sure about your own life. And one small thing brakes and you will find yourself on the floor with broken life-castle.
However, even the castle is broken, hopefully you have plenty of bricks to built better and stable house.
Yes, that is all so true. But this article is much more difficult to summarize. It depends on what mood I wake up, or occur during the day. Right now, I am hyper active to hide my anxiety.
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| Me, pretending to be all right and normal 😎☃ |
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