Pain, part number whatever

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things, confined in to the body who wants to sleep all the time. And such body is pain in the … wherever you want. It just hurts. I am not the person I am, I am not what you see.

My body is actually funny, you never know in what condition you wake up, or you will feel within few hours, sometimes even less, whether I will need plaster, because my fingers decide to bleed, or I will look like a teenager with face full of red dots, which hurt fairly too much. I have also currently some kind of allergic reaction without any clear source and people ask me whether I have the flu which runs around already. My body is most probably just preparing for the spring which will never come to Finland, but who cares. Anyway, I am so tired and my hands feel like in fire and in pain. It is very difficult to write. The pain is my everyday follower. Sometimes I am trying to be brave and make a fun of it. Sometimes I am just weak. Sometimes I wish I can change into the dust and be blown away. I just want to be accepted as a person who suffers of pain most of the time but I am still a human being with hopes and I am not giving up. I really fight with all the things. I am not asking why I am having such a disease. I do not want to have answers. I just want to live with head up.

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