Moment of icy cold hands, open letter

The moment when you have your icy cold hands, your heart is so fast and you feel like falling apart soon. My cheeks hurt again so badly. I know that I have the sinusitis again, but what can I do? I do not have time to get to the doctor. May be tomorrow or later? I cannot stand the pain and I feel so sick. If you see me today shouting do not wonder. I am not that person. I am just a prisoner inside my body. I do not want to visit a doctor because I usually get the answer that everything is ok. I have normally so low blood pressure, so if they measure my blood pressure they get normal numbers. I do not have normally a fever even I feel like having a fever. I was once told that that could be the problem, that if I cannot get a fever, my body is not able to boil all the viruses away from my body :-). May be it could be true. I have already constant herpes on my lips. Luckily not that visible, My nose is so red.

I want to cry, but I do not have energy.

Be strong!!

Live ..