I was travelling again this morning by metro. And as almost daily unsurprising experience they were informing passengers about unexpected technical problems. And due to that the intervals of traffic are irregular. I have to say that I am getting really stressed when using a metro, which means daily portion of stress and worry. Do I get from the point A to the point B on time and without any trouble? How much time I need to add to my travel plan that I have enough time but also I do not wait too long in case it really goes as it should go. I know that it sounds crazy to most of the people, but I am right now not able to cope even with this. When you suffer for fears and depressions, everything turns into a problem and it doesn't matter how much you are successful in your fight.
Sometimes I am really wondering how I could get so crazy. I do not like that word, but it just reflects what I am wondering about. I was always a bit more stressed about everything, but right now I am not having a bit of control above that. For example I am scared that I forgot coffee machine or iron switched on, I have to check everything minimally 3 times that I really closed the doors and I didn't lost anything from my bag. Yes, also this became as a result after I lost my blue back bag in metro. I became obsessed about it. And not only about my bag, but everything. You cannot imagine how exhausting it could be. Because you also realize how stupid it is but you cannot help. But I am not giving up. I am eliminating these bad habits one by one. I have to go through terrible feelings and anxiety, but I know that it is normal and I expected that.
I hope so much that I can help to anyone with this open babbling. Just that you can also fight with things you are annoyed or trouble nobody knows. Actually I would like to know what are people suffering for or obsessed. Am I the only one? Don't let me alone :-).
Have a nice day!!
Sometimes I am really wondering how I could get so crazy. I do not like that word, but it just reflects what I am wondering about. I was always a bit more stressed about everything, but right now I am not having a bit of control above that. For example I am scared that I forgot coffee machine or iron switched on, I have to check everything minimally 3 times that I really closed the doors and I didn't lost anything from my bag. Yes, also this became as a result after I lost my blue back bag in metro. I became obsessed about it. And not only about my bag, but everything. You cannot imagine how exhausting it could be. Because you also realize how stupid it is but you cannot help. But I am not giving up. I am eliminating these bad habits one by one. I have to go through terrible feelings and anxiety, but I know that it is normal and I expected that.
I hope so much that I can help to anyone with this open babbling. Just that you can also fight with things you are annoyed or trouble nobody knows. Actually I would like to know what are people suffering for or obsessed. Am I the only one? Don't let me alone :-).
Have a nice day!!
Dear Katerina, no you are not alone in this compulsion, I know of many people who always second guess themselves, did they do this or that, etc..I will regularly always double check things before I leave my house to make sure things are unplugged, the stove is off, a faucet is not running or after leaving client to make sure all work was completed to my standards, which can at times be more exhausting to live up to my own standards, so to answer your question dear, no you are not the only one. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! I am just so careful when having kids.
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