Chapter 2 or continuing to Dealing with a grief, open letter
I have lost in metro all my personal stuff in late evening, such as cell phone, ipad, key, travel card, wallet with all kind of cards. I was left without anything in front of our home with kids in quite cold temperatures. Luckily we met our neighbour and she took us to her home and borrowed me her cellphone. I was in terrible shock, I felt completely smashed. I was thinking that I really do not want to live anymore. I wanted to end it right away. Since October nothing works, everything is just turning into deeper hole and loneliness.
May be people didn't understood me properly. But among all the stuff I lost, I lost really personal stuff , as a memory on my lost soul mate. That is not only about the trouble that I had to call a lot, and I have to run around to get all my cards and stuff again, but also that I lost something what cannot be replaced. I feel robbed from my own heart. I don't want to be materialistic, or attached to stuff. But right now it has huge inner value for me. Of course I am sad that I have lost my ipad as well, because I had there some very good educational games for my kids when travelling or so.
I had in my back completely new drinking bottles for my kids, which I bought just day ago and my older daughter was asking me to buy it for quite long time. So I am sad for her, that I didn't managed to control my stuff better. I know that the situation was quite difficult since my younger one had her tantrum at that moment. The situation was complete mess. She was climbing everywhere in metro and running so I was running after her leaving my stuff by the pram to avoid she is not running from the metro in different metro station. I was so exhausted. I lost control.
After we got home, I wasn't able to do anything. I gave to kids only drinks and bread. My whole body was burning, my heart was palpitating. By the morning beautiful butterfly rash developed, fingers started to bleed. What a pity I couldn't take any picture. I had to go to a doctor in local healthcare station and I am back with my medication solving my arrhytmia. Hopefully that is only temporal reaction. I am not going to think about it.
I received so many wonderful messages. Especially the one. I hope that the person knows what I think right now. I was so touched and it gave me a lot of strength. I was so grateful to find out that I am getting so many support and how people are really nice. I am not saying that I am out of depressions but I am back in track!
Thank you so much!!
I have lost in metro all my personal stuff in late evening, such as cell phone, ipad, key, travel card, wallet with all kind of cards. I was left without anything in front of our home with kids in quite cold temperatures. Luckily we met our neighbour and she took us to her home and borrowed me her cellphone. I was in terrible shock, I felt completely smashed. I was thinking that I really do not want to live anymore. I wanted to end it right away. Since October nothing works, everything is just turning into deeper hole and loneliness.
May be people didn't understood me properly. But among all the stuff I lost, I lost really personal stuff , as a memory on my lost soul mate. That is not only about the trouble that I had to call a lot, and I have to run around to get all my cards and stuff again, but also that I lost something what cannot be replaced. I feel robbed from my own heart. I don't want to be materialistic, or attached to stuff. But right now it has huge inner value for me. Of course I am sad that I have lost my ipad as well, because I had there some very good educational games for my kids when travelling or so.
I had in my back completely new drinking bottles for my kids, which I bought just day ago and my older daughter was asking me to buy it for quite long time. So I am sad for her, that I didn't managed to control my stuff better. I know that the situation was quite difficult since my younger one had her tantrum at that moment. The situation was complete mess. She was climbing everywhere in metro and running so I was running after her leaving my stuff by the pram to avoid she is not running from the metro in different metro station. I was so exhausted. I lost control.
After we got home, I wasn't able to do anything. I gave to kids only drinks and bread. My whole body was burning, my heart was palpitating. By the morning beautiful butterfly rash developed, fingers started to bleed. What a pity I couldn't take any picture. I had to go to a doctor in local healthcare station and I am back with my medication solving my arrhytmia. Hopefully that is only temporal reaction. I am not going to think about it.
I received so many wonderful messages. Especially the one. I hope that the person knows what I think right now. I was so touched and it gave me a lot of strength. I was so grateful to find out that I am getting so many support and how people are really nice. I am not saying that I am out of depressions but I am back in track!
Thank you so much!!
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